This week, I found myself back on stage with the Queensland Symphony Orchestra for the first time in many years.
A few weeks ago, I happened to bump into the Associate Principal Percussionist. During our conversation, I mentioned that I would be available during the school holidays if they ever needed an extra player. I didn’t think much more about it at the time.
Then, on the morning of the first rehearsal this week, I received a call from the orchestra office. The timpanist had called in sick, which set off a chain of substitutions. Another percussionist moved to timpani, and I was asked to step in to cover the percussion position.
Just like that, I was back.
My parts were bass drum and Vibraphone in John Adams’ Lollapalooza and Rachmaninov’s Symphonic Dances. Bass drum has always been one of my favourite orchestral instruments to play, so I couldn’t have asked for a more enjoyable way to return.
What made the experience especially meaningful was seeing so many people I had worked with during my years at QSO, particularly from 2005 to 2014. It felt like stepping back into a familiar world. Many members came over to say hello and welcome me back, and I was reminded how much history I share with that orchestra.
The year 2014 was a major one for me. I was preparing for the Associate Principal Percussion audition and dedicated myself completely to it. I gave up concerts I wanted to attend, spent countless hours practising, and structured much of my life around that goal. I made it to the final round, which remains one of the achievements I am proud of, even though I was not ultimately successful.
After that, my work with QSO became less regular. I still played occasional concerts, but I was no longer there as frequently as I had been before. Then, in 2015, I became a mother, and naturally my priorities and opportunities changed. Balancing family life and a performing career meant making different choices about how I spent my time and energy.
By 2017, my regular performing relationship with QSO had effectively come to an end. I continued playing with other ensembles and projects, but my days as a regular extra with the orchestra were behind me.
That’s why this week’s return felt so significant.
It wasn’t only about the music. It was about reconnecting with a part of my life that had once been central to my identity as a musician. I was able to catch up with old friends, congratulate a newly appointed young cellist Shohei, and share in important moments for others.
It was also the final concert week for double bassist Ken before his retirement. I’ve always liked Ken, so it was special to be there as he completed his final performances with the orchestra.
Another lovely connection was seeing Martin from Ensemble Sooon performing the big saxophone solo in Symphonic Dances. Moments like that reminded me how interconnected Brisbane’s musical community really is. ABC Classic Live broadcast link is here – https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/special-features/classic-live-james-crabb-and-holly-harrison/107087516 Adams will start around 1:20:00.
As I sat through rehearsals and performances, I realised that returning wasn’t about trying to relive the past. My life today is very different from the life I had in 2014. But being back in the orchestra this week reminded me that those years, those friendships, and those experiences are still part of who I am.
Sometimes all it takes is a chance conversation, a remembered availability, and an unexpected phone call to bring you back to a place that once felt like home.
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